Tits Mcgee Waterparkapalooza

I should take a moment, and correct me if I'm wrong Boo, to help make sense of our blog title. We are two girls (girls in that condescending way...) who currently reside, play, drink, and occassionally work in the city of Buffalo. So, girls in the Buff has a double entendre if you will...if you will meaning, if you speak french.

We're loud and proud of our roots (I'm not actually from here, but admitting where I originated from would just open up a whole new can of worms...but let's just say I KNOW SNOOKIE is not from the Jersey Shore..why? Because I cared enough to google search her), but sometimes Buffalo can be a frustrating place to live. And not for the reasons that might immediately slap you in the face-weather, poverty, declining population, shadow governmental agencies dictating community planning....no, no, no, no, no, NO! It's the lack of theme based water parks.

Why does everyone else get a water park and we don't?  Our entire city, NAY, the entire northeast, midwest, west, east, south, and up, can thank us for the Erie Canal.And what goes through Canals? Other than barges? Water....so, that finally brings me to my original point. Our city, NAY, our country flourished because someone had the awesome idea that transporting goods via canals was far more efficient than whatever else they were using at the time...Had GM been founded yet?  So, water water water water.....

What better way to pay tribute to the very thing that defined our country in the mid 1800's than a themed water park. But not like any other water park....Buffalo needs to be different.

Let me take one step back.  Back to the controversial revialization of Buffalo's historic waterfront, which dates back to right before they (whoever they is) decided to burn the old downtown community and pave over the original canals. I can imagine the moment that that parking lot was built over the original opening to the canal, there were a lot of people going....hunh, well fuck me, that might have been a mistake.

So, in the interest of time, mostly mine and not yours dear reader, there's a lot of public money out there to be spent on "recreating"this dead dormant land in downtown Buffalo. I'll spare you the details, but  very recently Bass Pro decided not to be a non-tax paying member of our city despite the $35 million we were willing to throw at them. Following the devastating loss of such a respectable company, the community scrambled for ideas. You can bet your ass Boo and I had some of our own. "Tits McGee Waterparlapalooza" floated to the top as being the strongest.

Details:
All lifeguards are women. Safety First.
All the lifeguards wear Hooters like outfits, short shorts, white t.
Part of the fun is, whenever the hell you want to, you get to spray them with water. THEY ARE NOT WEARING BRAS-OMG.
There's of course a Lazy River...only at Tits McGee Waterparkapalooza, you are floating in the comfort of two humungous inflatable breasts. And for those willing to pay a few extra dollars, you can float in a huge vagina, nestled oh so comfortably right below the clitoris.

We didnt submit this plan to the Mayor yet. We're still negotiating some of the finer details and logistical questions....like is this kid friendly. We're not quite clear on the answer yet.