While my partner in crime experiences another extension of her quarter life crisis (boo, I love you, but it's true...your words, not mine), I'd like to share my recent experiences with a gentleman (and I use that term loosely). Well, it's more a lesson that has become clearer, based on my recent dating trends.
I love to date way past the expiration date. I read the label, I know it expired a month ago and whatever is in that container smells of vinegar, fecal matter, fish heads, and is inevitably chunky and growing something fluorescent. But I stick through it, like a real life Super Trooper. And the outcome is always the same. I dedicate time, resources, sometimes cash, to making this stinky ass relationship not stink. And its impossible. A friend threw me this gem the other day, which I think is relevant, concise, and simply poetic-"sometimes life hands you shit and you're expected to make lemonade. The problem is you have to know when the shit is shit and when it's shit with potential." It makes less sense now, but I like the idea of making lemonade with poo.
So, here I am, once again, digging through a "relationship" with a sociopath, who has the most beautiful green eyes, and rationally recognizing that the expiration date has come and gone many moons ago, but unable to let it go, just yet. I have to test it out, just one more time...maybe two. Update: I tried once more and was still able to swallow the sour milk that had expired...note, that IS NOT a sexual euphemism..or is it?
On another completely incongruent side note, a friend just returned from Indiana where she was visiting her aunt and uncle. They are both teachers, having graduated from highly esteemed establishments, AND they love their wine. I love wine too, so I love people who love wine.
Well, my friend started to feel under the weather, and she was advised by her aunt that she needed some vitamin C. And clearly, the only way to ingest Vitamin C, was to put some OJ in her wine. Like a mimosa, but without the bubbles.
Needless to say, friend is still sick, but she and I went out last night for a glass of wine. And it was wonderful.
-Boobs.
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